Good shit
2002 Top 10 list action
By Venus Zine Staff
Published: December 2nd, 2002 | 10:28pm
Congratulations to Venus Zine reader Kendy Paxia for her winning entry of the Venus "Top 10 List of 2002" contest. She has won a $100 gift certificate to Karmaloop.com.
After Kendy's list, you'll find the 2002 lists of Gina Volpe (Bantam singer-guitarist and Lunachicks guitarist), Venus Zine music reviews editor Charlotte Robinson, and comedian Alix Olson. After that, we have posted Venus reader runners-up lists.
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"My Top 10 Stupid People and the Things I Have Heard From Them For 2002 (In No Particular Order"
By Kendy Paxia
1. "You are a pretty girl, do you want to come up to my apartment and watch Disney movies?"
— from some 70+-year-old-complete-with-walker man who lives in my apartment complex
2. "You can only dress that way if you practice black magic."
— from an acne-faced teen boy on my choice of black clothing and Hello Kitty purse
3. "Can you walk in those boots?"
— heard about a million times a day (No, I don't walk. My 4-inch platforms fly me around town!)
4. "What does your mom think of you dressing like that?"
— from some lady, in which I replied, "At 23, I think she is just happy I can dress myself."
5. "You don't look like you speak English."
— some student at my school who did not speak English herself
6. "She was an info-maniac."
— some guy talking about his sex-crazed girlfriend while I was working as a phone-sex actress (I no longer do that).
7. "So your boyfriend does not dress like you?"
— apartment manager wondering if my boyfriend will show up with pink hair and a mini skirt
8. "You dress that way for attention."
— when will people wake up and realize not everyone who likes black clothing and bright makeup wants or craves attention?
9. "Are you looking for a date?"
— some guy mistaking me for a "working girl," which leads me to say, "Please don't assume mini-skirt = hooker!"
10. "Do you dye your hair?"
— some teenager (No, I was born with pink, purple, and red hair.)
* * *
"Top 10 Albums of 2002"
By Charlotte Robinson
(Venus music reviews editor)
1. Sing-Sing The Joy of Sing-Sing (Manifesto)
2. Dolly Parton Halos and Horns (Sugar Hill)
3. ESG Step Off (Soul Jazz)
4. Yeah Yeah Yeahs Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Touch and Go)
5. Dressy Bessy Sound Go Round (Kindercore)
6. Patti Smith Land (Arista)
7. Sahara Hotnights Jennie Bomb (Jetset)
8. Ariane (Ari of the Slits) Ariane (Converge)
9. Oh-OK The Complete Recordings (Collectors Choice)
10. Elk City Hold Tight the Ropes (Warm)
* * *
"Random Top 9 of 2002"
By Gina Volpe
(Bantam singer-guitarist and Lunachicks guitarist)
1. Best doughnut of 2002: The pumpkin doughnut from the Donut Plant on Essex Street in New York. I know it sounds gross, but bajeezus, it's one fine-tasting donut!
2. Best accidental injury while wearing a bikini in 2002: Breaking my nose at Jones' Beach while "wrestling" in the ocean
3. Best bizarre coincidence relating to bikini incident in 2002: Two weeks later my drummer Pete (not in a bikini) breaks his nose while "wrassling" with his gal. On a side note, three weeks before Pete and I broke our schnozes, the bass player in my other band, Lunachicks, broke her nose (no bikini involved). Go figure. This is all true, by the way.
4. Best guilty pleasure that I hate admitting to but needed another "best of" 2002: Sshh … don't tell anyone. Smirnoff Ice — malt liquor, sugar, and alcohol. What more do you need? Hey it's better than liking Britney Spears.
5. Best movie to watch when in need of a really good laugh after breaking up with boyfriend in 2002: Super Troopers.
6. Best heckle shouted from audience in 2002: "Pretty good for a trannie!"
7. Best worst idea for 2002: Anal bleaching ... it burns! Not that I know. … A "friend" of mine read that somewhere.
8. Best new fetish (well, it's new to me) in 2002: Plushies! (N: adults who have a special personal love for stuffed toy animals.)
9. Best near-death experience in 2002: Hell's Angels suddenly appear in audience during Bantam show in the midst of my telling the gay-biker-mullet joke. Whew, that was a close one!
* * *
"The Best Independent Bookstores"
By Alix Olson
10. Bluestockings (New York City)
9. Mama Bear's (Oakland, California)
8. Mother Kali's Books (Eugene, Oregon)
7. Amazon Bookstore (Minneapolis, Minnesota)
6. Charis Books and More (Atlanta, Georgia)
5. Women and Children First (Chicago, Illinois)
4. New Words Bookstore (Cambridge, Massachusetts)
3. Womencrafts (Provincetown, Massachusetts)
2. A Room of One's Own (Madison, Wisconsin)
1. All of the owners, workers, and volunteer sheroes who have perservered in the above womyn's bookstores, and within the rest of the survivors — to ensure refuge for feminist clarity, access to alternative books, local music and zines, and the breeding of community activism; who have fought corporate name-stealing and the surging take-over of the alternative spirit; who have hosted book signings and concert series Borders and Towers would balk at; who work with grassroots music and book distributors to keep our money and our energy within our community, in 2002 — may we all work to keep us alive in 2003.
* * *
VENUS ZINE READER RUNNERS-UP …
"Top 10 Blessings in Disguise"
By Jennifer L. Barbee
("the most fortunately unfortunate gal in Los Angeles")
10. Money constraints force me to forego buying the send season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD. Weeks later, I win it in a raffle.
9. Amazon.com mistakes my order and sends me the wrong CD. That CD was Neko Case's Furnace Room Lullaby, which I put in my stereo on a whim, only to discover one of my new favorite albums. Thank you, incompetent order processor!
8. Winona Ryder gets arrested for shoplifting. After the death of Hedy Lamarr, that space of kleptomaniacal infamy among celebrities has been left utterly vacant. Now the jokes may resume.
7. I come home to find that my cat has thrown up all over my bed. It inspired me to take him to the vet, thus saving his life in the nick of time from feline lower urinary tract disease.
6. My car gets broad-sided at an intersection. When the other driver's insurance repaired the damages, I also managed to get rid of the nasty scratches left by an unfortunate encounter with a dumpster.
5. UPS destroys my bike during shipping. I get a better bike for free.
4. The water heater breaks in my apartment building and puts my bedroom under 4 inches of water. An agreement with my landlord to temporarily 1/2 my rent allows me to redecorate the whole room, which I have been dying to do for years.
3. I get laid off. A generous severance package is offered and allows me to enjoy my first summer vacation in 12 years and a much-needed month in Texas with my family.
2. My severance package runs out, and I am still unemployed. Unemployment kicks in and I discover the joys of simplification.
1. I couldn't afford tickets to see Blondie in concert. A friend uses some connections to get us VIP passes instead, thus allowing me to meet Debbie Harry, my ultimate idol since I was 7 years old.
* * *
"Random Good Stuff"
By Lenny Williams
10. Eden Soy extra soy milk
9. Falling in love with NYC all over again
8. Learning to really like it doggy style
7. Cutting my own hair
6. The resurgence of the art of crafts (this includes but is not limited to needlepoint, embroidery, beer-can hats and clothing, Bedazzler ornamentation, origami, decoupage) because I always need a project of some sort
5. Learning how to bake my grandma's kolache recipes
4. Maker's Mark whiskey
3. Advil, unpetroleum lip balm
2. Sunglasses
1. Middle finger (multiple uses)
Issue #45
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